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DIARY ENTRY 36

Today’s Chores
Pick Evelyn a new pumpkin head.
Go with Evelyn to see a bourbon tree.
Go to Maggie’s to buy some straw and a new cane-made hat.
Set table for dinner.
Buy some Potatoes.
Help Evelyn cook dinner.

Loose Note in Wood Witch’s Book Of Shadows

Evelyn made breakfast straight after telling me my chores for the day. We ate, and afterwards I had to clean up the mess from last night, while Evelyn cleaned the cookery and breakfast dishes. The Swamp Monster left swampy crap all over the floors everywhere, and some of Pumbic could still be found shredded on the floor. Evelyn told me to keep the parts left of him and to gather them up in a pile on the floor.

After cleaning, I was sent down to the back paddock to fetch a pumpkin from the back gardens. I swear I saw the Swamp Monster again, multiple times, in all different spots in the garden, but Evelyn told me to stop being a worry wart, it’s my “imagination” apparently…

When I returned from the garden, I found the house dressed in candles and banners with colours, and the whole house blessed with oils. I think Evelyn’s a witch too.

We went to the bourbon trees immediately after Evelyn dragged a bath tub inside the living room – casting space. On the way to the trees, I could see the dead children again, and hear all the ghosts of Shanahan. “You’ve got a wild imagination,” Evelyn shrugged it off.

The bourbon tree we approached was named Clifford the Old Clapper. Apparently he got his name because he likes to squat Coco-leg’s flat when they run along by.

“When is Barte Bee returning to Shanahan?” Evelyn demanded of the tree.

The tree was confused. “Oh I cannot say, my lady. He’s in quite the pickle at the moment. I can’t say that he will be back, to tell you the truth, though the rumours are that Gweyne Bee and Buckly Bee are pushing hard to get him out of the doozie he’s in.”

“What doozie? What’s he done?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Evelyn, I’m afraid I cannot say. It’s strictly confidential. The matters are quite a pineapple up the booty, and the Court is working hard to keep the case out of pubic knowledge.”

“I am his wife.”

“Yes, yes, we trees are all aware. You are specifically one of the many that the Court is trying to keep this information from.” I know what he did. Player!

“Well fine then Clifford, can you please send a letter for me.”

“Well sure, darling lady, whatever you require, it’ll cost you a secret, though.”

“This girl with me is the Heirophant Traitor’s daughter, Wood Witch, born of Busbernith Bee, blood of the Dragon Folk of Scorpio.” I still can’t believe she told him that! Doesn’t she have her own secrets to trade?

“Ah, so the rumours are true.” Said Clifford. “With much respect Wood Witch, I knew your mother, and I did have much respect for her… Until she murdered the Former Pharaoh.” She What?

“No one has told her that, you stupid tree!” Evelyn screamed at him. “Just please take my letter and send it to Galaxy.”

The tree apologised and took the letter immediately, before flinging it half away across the forest, I watched another tree catch it and then fling it off in another direction. “Your letter should make it to Ezarco by nightfall on MoonDay.”

“Thank you Clifford, Little Bee, lets go.”

“Oh and Wood Witch.” The tree interrupted. Evelyn was furious. “Do keep a low profile. You’re a famous name, you have been since the minute you fell into the World of Dobbingson- COCO-LEG!” The tree had boomed, and oh colour me blue! You should have seen him swing his branch, he threw half his upper branches at the tiny critter and launched them into the ground, but he missed!

And the critter got away. “Oh no. That’s not good.” The tree complained all the while recovering from his smack into the earth.

“Wood Witch!” Evelyn scowled. “With me, now! We have to go.”

Coco-leg’s are talkers! The worse gossipers in the lands, worse than fairies apparently. Evelyn believes that creature will be the end of us. She told me all about their uncontrollable mouths all the way back to the house.

As soon as we got home, she sent me back out to collect the wheel burrow full of straw, from Maggie up the road, while she stayed home and began to cast a protection spell around the house. I knew she was a witch.

I got the straw, but holy mother of gods, Maggie knew who I was on sight! The coco-leg’s already talking!

When I returned home again, the protection spell was apparently up, but I could still hear dead children screaming and giggling inside, though

Evelyn didn’t blame my imagination this time. They were real!

Apparently they needed to be called for her next spell.

I unloaded the straw and lit all the candles for Evelyn before watching her work her magic.

She threw a ton of straw into the bath tub, covered the pumpkin in oils, prayed and chanted, and threw it into the bath as well. She then cut her wrists and let her own blood dribble deep into the pool of water.

Next, the candles blew out and the ghosts flooded the room while Evelyn got down onto all four and began to summon things and chant and babble on.

“Don’t let any of the spirit’s posses you, Little Bee.” Evelyn called out.

And then the candles flickered back to life and the bath swarmed with green, red and blue smoke. And another scarecrow rose up! She bewitched the straw and the pumpkin, and all the other things in the bath, into a living scarecrow, amazing!

“Ah, I can’t see. I can’t see. I’m blind.” Cried the scarecrow.

“Oh witch on a stick! I forgot to carve the eyes.” Evelyn sighed. She then drew a knife. “Little Bee. Hold down his legs, this is going to be agonisingly painful for him.”

I won’t write about the rest. It was a nightmare. I don’t care to ever read about it again…

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